How d'ya like your hooch in the morning? - Dean Martin & Helen O'Connell

(H) How do you like your eggs in the morning
(D) I like mine with a Vod
(H) Boiled or fried
(D) I'm satisfied as long as I get my Vod

(H) How do you like your toast in the morning
(H) I like mine with a Rum
(H) Dark or light
(D) the world's all right as long as I get my Rum

(D) I've got to have my Hooch in the morning
(H) Or the rest of my day is positively mayhem
(D) I'm a regular monster

(H) How do you like your eggs in the morning
(D) I like mine with a Jack
(H) Up or down
(D) I'll never frown - eggs are some craic
(D) Just as long as I get my Jack

(D) How do you like your eggs in the morning
(H) how do you like your eggs in the morning
(D) I like mine with a Pint
(H) I like mine with a Pint
(D) Boiled or fried
(H) I'm satisfied
(Both) as long as I get my Pint

(H) How do you like your toast in the morning
(D) how do you like your toast in the morning
(H) I like mine with a Gin
(D) I like mine with a Gin
(H) I'm a connoisseur
(D) the world's not a blur
(Both) as long as I get my Gin

(D) I've got to have my Booze in the morning
(H) Or the rest of my day is positively mayhem
(D) I'm a regular monster

(H) How do you like your eggs in the morning
(D) With pure Ethanol
(H) Up or down
(D) I'll never frown
(Both) eggs can be a ball
(Both) Just as long as I get me Ethanol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpBhQKwm2rY

Eric (has the) Clapton - Tears in the Dole Office

Would you know my name
If I saw you in the dole office
Will it be the same
If I saw you in the dole office
I must be strong, and carry on
Cause I know I don't belong
On the dole

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in the dole office
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in the dole office
I'll find my way, through night and day
Cause I know I just can't stay
On the dole

Time can bring you down
Time can bend your knee
Time can break your heart
Have you begging please
Begging please

(instrumental)

Beyond the door
There's peace I'm sure.
And I know there'll be no more...
£50 a week


Would you know my name
If I saw you in the dole office
Will it be the same
If I saw you in the dole office
I must be strong, and carry on
Cause I know I don't belong
On the dole

Cause I know I don't belong
On the dole

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSbqm7ZK_9s&feature=related

Frank Sinatra - The girl from Ipanema

Tall and tan and young and lovely
The girl from Ipanema goes walking
And when she passes, each one she passes goes - CORRR!!!! :P
When she walks, she’s like a samba
That swings so cool and sways so gentle
That when she passes, each one she passes goes - COP A LOAD OF THAT! :D

(ooh) but I watch her so sadly
How can I tell her I love her
Yes I would give my heart gladly
But each day, when she walks to the sea
She looks straight ahead, not at me

Tall, (and) tan, (and) young, (and) lovely
The girl from Ipanema goes walking
And when she passes, I smile - but she doesn’t see (doesn’t see)
(she just doesn’t see, she never sees me...)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85ysI4bwZCw

Dusty Springfield - The Smell of Shite

The smell, of shite
Is on, your breath
A smell your Lynx can't disguise

The smell, of shite
It's saying so much more
Than words could ever say
And what my nose has smelt,
Well, it takes my breath away.

I can hardly wait to hold you,
Feel my arms around you.
How long I have waited,
Waited just to put a Polo mint in your bake
Now that I have found you

[You've got]
The smell, of shite
Is on, your breath
A smell, that time, can't erase
Be mine tonight
Let this be just the start
Of so many packets of Trebour XXX like this
Let's take a Minty vow
And then seal it with a kiss (AFTER the mints!)

I can hardly wait to hold you
Feel my arms around you,
How long I have waited,
Waited just to put a Tic-Tac in you mouth
Now that I have found you,
Don't ever go...
Don't ever go...

(...except to grab your Listerine mouthwash :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a28kY1-s-Vc

ABBA - Money, Money, Money

I work all night, I work all day, to pay the bills I have to pay
Ain't it sad
And still there never seems to be a single penny left for me
That's too bad
In my dreams I have a plan
If I got me a wealthy IRA man
I wouldn't have to work at all, I'd fool around and have a ball...

Money, money, money
Must be funny
When you're in the Ra!
Money, money, money
Always sunny
When you're in the Ra!
Aha-ahaa
All the knees I could wreak
If I had a little money
It's a Shinners world!
It's a Shinners world!

An IRA man is hard to find but I can't get them off my mind
Ain't it sad
And if he happens to be free I bet he'd probably knee-cap me
That's too bad
So I must leave, I'll have to go
Down to the Northern Bank and rob some doe
Steal 26 million it's just a game, my life will never be the same...

Money, money, money
Must be funny
When you're in the Ra!
Money, money, money
Always sunny
When you're in the Ra!
Aha-ahaa
All the ankles I'd break
If I had a little money
It's a Shinners world!

Money, money, money
Must be funny
When you're in the Ra!
Money, money, money
Always sunny
When you're in the Ra!
Aha-ahaa
All the beatin's I'd dish out
If I had a little money
It's a Shinners world!
It's a Shinners world!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETxmCCsMoD0&ob=av2e

When a Prod loves a Cath'lic

when a prod loves a cath'lic
can't keep his mind on nothing else
he'd trade the union with britain
for a good thing he's found
if she is covered in IRA tattoos he can't see it
she can do no wrong
turn his back on his loyalist mates if he put her down

when a prod loves a cath'lic
spend his very last great british pound
trying to hold on to what he needs
he'd give up all his flute band CD's
and go to a pub on the Falls
if she said that's the way it ought to be

but the prod loves the cath'lic
i gave you everything i had
trying to hold on to your working class love
baby please dont treat my knees bad ;)

when a prod loves a cath'lic
down deep beneith his sash
she can bring him such misery
if she plays him for a fool
he's the last one to know
loving eyes can never see

when a prod loves a cath'lic
he can do her no wrong
he could never hold a protestant girl

yes when a prod loves a cath'lic
i know exactly how he feels
cause baby, baby you're my world

when a prod loves a cath'lic
i know exactly how he feels
(song fades)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQh112HQsoE

Kenny Rogers - The Property Investor

On a warm recession's evening
On the Enterprise bound for nowhere
I met up with the property investor
We were both too hyper to sleep
So we took turns a-starin'
Out the window at the economic blackhole
The ignorance overtook us, and he began to speak

He said, "Son, I've made my life
Out of owning people's houses
Knowin' what they will be worth
By the way they held their keys
So if you don't mind my sayin'
I can see you're in negative equity
For a taste of your Buckfast
I'll give you some advice"

So I handed him my bottle
And he drank down my last swallow
Then he bummed a cigarette
And asked me for a light
And the night got deathly quiet
And his faced lost all expression
He said, "If you're gonna fuck the economy, boy
You gotta learn to do it right

You've got to know when to buy 'em
Know when to sell 'em
Know when the economies fucked
Know when to run
You never count your debts
When you're sittin' in front of the bank manager
There'll be time enough for countin'
When you've been declared bankrupt

Now every property invester knows the secret to survivin'
Is knowin' what to buy cheap
And knowin' what to sell at multiples of it's orignal value
'Cause every house's a winner
And every house's a loser
And the best that you can hope for
Is to rip as much as you can before it blows up in your face

So when he finished speakin'
He turned back for the window
Crushed out his cigarette
And faded off to sleep
Then somewhere in the economic catastrophe
The investor he finally broke even
but in his final words
I found the obvious had just been stated

You've got to know when to buy'em
Know when to sell 'em
Know when the economies fucked
Know when to run
You never count your debts
When you're sittin' in front of the bank manager
There'll be time enough for countin'
When you've been declaired bankrupt

You've got to know when to do 'em up
(When to do'em up)
Know when to build extensions on 'em
(When to build extensions on 'em)
Know when to rent 'em
Know when the economies fucked
You never count your debts
When you're sittin' in front of your wife and kids
There'll be time enough for countin'
When you've lost your job

You've got to know when to look 'em up on property website
Know when to put an offer in
Know when the economies fucked
Know when to run
You never count your debts
When you're standin' in front of the off-licence manager
There'll be time enough for countin'
When you're lyin' in the ditch

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6q2mFiN7GIc

Cranberries - Linger

If you, if you could return, don't let it burn, don't let it scuff. I'm sure I'm not being rude, but it's just your attitude,
It's tearing me apart, It's ruining everything.

I swore, I swore it would be brown, and eggy, so did you.
So why were you holding it in? Is that the way we stand?
Were you tying all the time? Was it just a game to you?

But I'm in so deep. You know I'm up to my waist in shite.
You got me wrapped around your ring peice, ah, ha, ha.
Do you have to let your farts linger? Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let your farts linger?

Oh, I thought the world of you.
I thought nothing could go wrong,
But I was wrong. I was wrong.

If you, if you could get by, trying not to fart,
Things wouldn't be so confused and I wouldn't feel so used,
But you always really knew, I just wanna fart with you.

But I'm in so deep. You know I'm up to my neck in shite.
You got me wrapped around your ring peice, ah, ha, ha.
Do you have to let your farts linger? Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let your farts linger?

And I'm in so deep. You know I'm up to my ears in shite.
You got me wrapped around your ring peice, ah, ha, ha.
Do you have to let your farts linger? Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let your farts linger?

You know I'm such a fool for you.
You got me wrapped around your ring peice, ah, ha, ha.
Do you have to let your farts linger? Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let your farts linger?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6Kspj3OO0s&ob=av2e

Berlin - I've got itchy pubes

Watching every motion in my foolish lover's game
On this endless ocean finally lovers know no shame
Turning and returning to some secret place inside
Watching in slow motion as you turn around and say

I've got itchy pubes..
You gave me the crabs..

Watching I keep waiting still anticipating love
Never hesitating to become the fated ones
Turning and returning to some secret place to hide
Watching in slow motion as you turn to me and say

I've got itchy pubes..

Through the hourglass I saw you, in time you slipped away
When the mirror crashed I called you, and turned to hear you say
If only for today I am unafraid

I've got itchy pubes..
You gave me the crabs..

Watching every motion in this foolish lover's game
Haunted by the notion somewhere there's a love in flames
Turning and returning to some secret place inside
Watching in slow motion as you turn to me and say

I've got itchy pubes..
My love, You gave me the crabs..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DARX9nzNE3E

South Armagh 3 - Woke up this morning

You woke up this morning
Laundered some diesel,
Mama always said you'd never
Get the dye outta that!

She said: They can trace one part in a million
You're better trying chip fat oil,
But you were born under a bad sign,
Diesel - £1.30 a litre!

You woke up this morning
All the dye has gone.
Your Papa never told you,
About his time in Maghaberry Prison for laundering fuel!

But you're looking good, baby,
I believe you're burnin' fine, (shame about it),
Born under a bad sign,
Diesel - £1.30 a litre!

You woke up this morning,
Your world turned upside down.
Thing's ain't been the same,
Since the PSNI raided your farm!

They can trace one part in a million,
You've got that full 1000 gallon tank.
Born under a bad sign,
Diesel - £1.30 a litre!

When you woke up this morning everything you had was gone.
By half past ten your head was going ding-dong.
Ringing like a bell from your head down to your toes,
Like a voice telling you there was some chemistry you should know.
Last night you were flying in your car but today you're so slow
- ain't it times like these that make you wonder if
You'll ever know the meaning of things as they appear to
The others; wives, mothers, fathers, sisters and Brothers.
Don't you wish you didn't function, wish you
Didn't think beyond the next paycheck (for your laundered diesel)
And the next little drink' for yer motor
Well you do so make up your mind to go across the boarder,
'Cos when you woke up this morning everything you had was gone!

When you woke up this morning,
When you woke up this morning,
When you woke up this morning,
Mama said you'd never get the, the dye outta that!

When you woke up this morning,
When you woke up this morning,
When you woke up this morning,
Laundered yourself some diesel!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDDkCiUhHCc

Sting - Orange Man up the Falls

I don't kick with my left foot my dear,
I like my peace wall on one side.
And you can hear my Ulster Scots accent when I shout,
I'm an Orange Man up the Falls.

See me marching down the Queen's highway,
I keep a band pole at my side.
I take it everywhere I march,
I'm an Orange Man up the Falls.

WaaaOOh

I'm an alien I'm a loyal alien,
I'm an Orange Man up the Falls.
I'm an alien I'm a loyal alien,
I'm an Orange Man up the Falls.

If, "Marching maketh man" as someone said,
Then he's the hero of the day.
It takes a man to suffer fire bombs and smile,
Be sectarian no matter what they say.

WaaaOOh

I'm an alien I'm a loyal alien,
I'm an Orange Man up the Falls.
I'm an alien I'm a loyal alien,
I'm an Orange Man up the Falls.

Investment in property can lead to notoriety,
You could end up loosing £50k.
Unity, equal opertunity are rare in this community,
At night a fire bomb's brighter than the sun.

Takes more than riot gear to make a man,
Takes more than a baton-round for a gun.
Confront your enemies, ignore their opinions when you can,
A Orange Man will march but never run.

WaaaOOh

I'm an alien I'm a loyal alien,
I'm an Orange Man up the Falls.
I'm an alien I'm a loyal alien,
I'm an Orange Man up the Falls.

If, "Marching maketh man" as someone said,
Then he's the hero of the day.
It takes a man to suffer fire bombs and smile,
Be sectarian no matter what they say. (x3)

WaaaOOh

I'm an alien I'm a loyal alien,
I'm an Orange Man on the Falls
I'm an alien I'm a loyal alien
I'm an Orange Man on the Falls

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d27gTrPPAyk&ob=av2e

DLA Mobility Car theme tune

Revvin' up your engine,
Listen to her howlin' roar.
Metal under tension,
Beggin' you to touch and go...

Highway to the benefits!
Ride into the benefits!

Headin' into twilight,
Spreadin' out her wings tonight.
She got you jumpin' off the track,
And shovin' into overdrive...

Highway to the benefits!
I'll take you
Right into the benefits!

You'll never say hello to you,
Until you get it on the red line overload.
You'll never know what you can do,
Until you get it up as high as you can go!

Out along the edges,
Always where I burn to be.
The further on the edge,
The hotter the intensity...

Highway to the benefits!
Gonna take you
Right into the benefits!
Highway to the DOLE OFFICE!!!! >:D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8rZWw9HE7o

The Police - Fields of green-white-and-Gold

You'll remember me patroling West Belfast
Upon the fields of barbwire
You'll forget the flag on his jealous pole
As we riot in fields of green-white-and-gold

So she took her nail bomb for to wang it far
Upon the fields of barbwire
In his arms she fell as her balaklava came down
Among the fields of green-white-and-gold

Will you stay with me, will you stay for questioning
Among the fields of barbwire?
We'll forget the flag on his jealous pole
As we riot in fields of green-white-and-gold

See West Belfast go past from a land rover so
Upon the fields of barbwire
Feel her body rise when you handcuff her
Among the fields of green-white-and-gold

You never made promises (to put arms beyond use) lightly
And there have been some knees that you've broken
But I swear our day will come
We'll walk in fields of green-white-and-gold
We'll walk in fields of green-white-and-gold

Many years have passed since those summer riots
Among the fields of barbwire
See the children run as the school bus burns
Among the fields of green-white-and-gold

You'll remember me patroling West Belfast
Upon the fields of barbwire
You can tell the flag on his jealous pole
When we walked in fields of green-white-and-gold
When we walked in fields of green-white-and-gold
When we walked in fields of green-white-and-gold

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLVq0IAzh1A&ob=av2n

Talking Heads (of State) - Burning Down the Lodge

Watch out. Might get your knees done in,
Cool flute bands. Orange but not the purple,
I'm an ordinary prod.
Burning down the lodge!

Hold tight. Wait till the marching's over,
Hold tight. We're in for nasty riots,
There has got to be a way,
Burning down the lodge!

Here's a brick now pack your sash: time to lob it at the cops,
The water canon is here.
Close enough but not too far, maybe you know where you are
(at an interface),
Fightin' fire with fire!

Sash wet. Hey you might need a raincoat,
Snake down. Dreams marchin' up the Falls.
Three hun-dred six-ty 11th nights,
Burning down the lodge!

It was once upon a place sometimes I listen to the lambeg drum,
Gonna march in first place.
People on their way to work, baby what did you except,
Upturned taxi in flames!

My lodge. S'out of the ordinary,
That's might. Don't want to hurt nobody.
Some things sure can sweep me off my feet (like a plastic bullet),
Burning down the lodge!

No visible means of support and you have not seen nuthin' yet,
Every drum's baten together.
I don't know what Newsline says, starring into my TV set,
Fighting fire with fire!

Burning down the lodge.

Burning down the lodge.

Burning down the lodge.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNnAvTTaJjM

Tribute

Long time ago me and my brother Ian here,
we was marchin' down a long, catholic road.
All of a sudden, there shined a shiny parades commissioner... in the middle... of the road.
And he said:
"Play the best march...ing song, or I'll redirrect you."

Well me and Ian, we looked at each other,
and we each said... "NO SURRENDER!"
And we played the first thing that came to our heads,
Just so happened to be,
The Sash My Father Wore, it was The Sash My Father Wore!

Look into my eyes and it's easy to see
One and one makes two, two and one makes three,
It was tradition.
Once every hundred-thousand parades or so,
When the sun doth shine and the bonfires glow
And the hate doth grow... at Drumcree

Needless to say, the commissioner was stunned.
Whip-crack went his Whoopy baton,
And the commissioner was done.
He asked us: "(snort) Be you Hibernians?"
And we said, "NEVER! We are but PRODS!"
Rock!
Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh-ah-ah,
Ohhh, whoah, ah-whoah-oh!

This is not The Sash My Father Wore, no.
This is just a tribute.
Couldn't remember The Sash My Father Wore, no, no.
This is a tribute, oh, to The Sash My Father Wore,
All right! It was The Sash My Father Wore,
All right! It was The best muthafuckin' Sash My Father Wore.


[2-part skat]

And the peculiar thing is this my friends:
the song we sang on that 12th night it didn't actually sound
anything like this song.
This is just a tribute! You gotta believe it!
And I wish you were there! Just a matter of tradition.
Ah, fuck! Good God, God lovin',
So surprised to find you can't stop us marchin'.


[Skat]


All right! All right!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lK4cX5xGiQ&ob=av2e

Friday I get the dole

I don't care if Monday's blue
Tuesday's gray and Wednesday too
Thursday I don't care about you
It's Friday, I get the dole.

Monday you can strole around
Tuesday, Wednesday my sorrows drowned
Oh, Thursday there's no money I've found
It's Friday I get the dole.

Saturday, night!
And Sunday last cigarette I light,
But Friday and I am ready to fight...

I don't care if Mondays black
Tuesday, Wednesday - itchy crack,
Thursday, take a load of smack,
It's Friday, I draw the dole.

Monday, fickin' skint again,
Tuesday, Wednesday I'm in pain,
Or Thursday - pissed it down the drain,
It's Friday, I get the dole.

Saturday, hash!
And Sunday runnin' out of cash,
But Friday, when I make that dash...

Eattin' a loadsa pies, it's a wonderful surprise
To see your booze and your spirits rise
Spewin' up your guts, just got kicked in the nuts
It's like a pain in the hole, you can't beat the dole

Always take a big snort, won't pay my child support
Go down to the supreme court
You can never get enough, enough of this stuff
It's Friday, I GET THE BREW! :D

I don't care if Mondays black
Tuesday, Wednesday - up your crack,
Thursday, take a load of smack,
It's Friday, I draw the dole.

Monday I'm lyin' in a ditch
Tuesday, Wednesday I ain't rich
Thursday it's a loada pish
It's Friday I get the dole....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGgMZpGYiy8&ob=av3n